i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
