Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
