Dual....:-)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
