i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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