I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
