you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
