AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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