VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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