He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
