if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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