she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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