We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he was CRYING into my vagina
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
