She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
