So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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