plz talk dirty to me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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