Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
