and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
