omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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