Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
