the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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