I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
