They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
