My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
