Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
