Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
