so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
