i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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