Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
