took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
