Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I look better un-naked...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Randomize
