no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
being pregnant is like rehab
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
