her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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