You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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