marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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