i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
being pregnant is like rehab
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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