Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
