i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
