well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
dude. I can hear the air.
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