She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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