its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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