i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
