Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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