fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
