Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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