You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
