i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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