I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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