He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
