Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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