I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
