Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
