Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
