I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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